Does it get easier?
It's 8 weeks since my husband died aged just 62. He had gone to hospital at the end of September with suspected appendicitis but came out with stage 4 metatastic bowel cancer. 13 short weeks later he was dead. No real symptoms, just some tiredness, but the primary had apparently probably been growing for several years.
I collected his ashes last Thursday and have been an emotional wreck ever since - that was a reality check and a half. I can't stop crying and feel so overwhelmed and panicked. I don't recognise myself. Friends keep reaching out to see if I want to meet up or go for a walk, but the thought of being with others fills me with such dread and fear, I go into an absolute tailspin. I'm usually so independent but am beginning to wonder if that was because I always knew he was there, in my corner, my rock, my anchor and my safe space. Will I ever want to get out and do things again?
Agree with both of you Alison and Isobel. It is 3 months for me today. I feel i am just existing, just breathing each day. I have no idea how long i can possibly do this...treading water is exactly right. I have one daughter left at school, she turns 16 this year so i am really trying to hold it together for her. This is not living but then i don't feel i will ever really live again as that life has now vanished, ripped away from me. I had no warning, no lead up just bam, massive stroke and 2 days later i am left walking the long walk out of the ICU. It really sucks!! I don't know what to say to you both, there are no words. I wish i could find more widows and widowers to chat with as we need to stick together and support each other.