Introducing #WidowedAtChristmas

For many widowed people, Christmas doesn’t feel festive. It feels heavy. The lights get brighter,

the music gets louder, and the world seems to speed up while your own life has been brought to an abrupt halt. It is a season filled with reminders of everything that has changed, everything

that is missing, and everything that hurts.

Here at The Widowed Collective, we understand this deeply because our organisation is built and led entirely by widows and widowers. This year, our founder Nicky Wake, Chair of the Board

Natalie Bolton, and board members Heather Smith and Rosie Moss, have joined forces to

launch #WidowedAtChristmas, a campaign designed to offer connection, compassion and

community throughout the festive season.

Each of them has lived through Christmas in the aftermath of bereavement. Each knows the

complexity, the pressure and the loneliness of it. And each wants to make sure that no one else

feels they have to endure it alone.

Why #WidowedAtChristmas matters

The purpose of the campaign is simple, to give widowed people a place to feel understood.

Throughout December, we will be sharing reflections, insights, personal experiences and

supportive messages from across our community on our website, social channels and in the

media.

We invite you to join in. Whether you are newly bereaved or many years into life after loss, your

insights could be exactly what someone else needs.

Our founder, Nicky Wake

Our founder Nicky spent three Christmases navigating hospitals, care facilities and uncertainty

after her husband Andy suffered a catastrophic cardiac arrest in 2017, before he died in 2020.

She remembers that period vividly, the exhaustion, the shock, the fear, and the pressure to hold

things together for their son, Finn.

“Christmas changed forever the year Andy died. The pressure to be festive when your heart is in

pieces is enormous. Every song, every advert, every empty chair feels like a reminder of what

you’ve lost. I remember Andy as warm, wickedly funny and deeply loving, the kind of dad who

made every tradition feel magical. Christmas can magnify grief, but it can also magnify

connection. My advice is to take it hour by hour. Let yourself feel whatever you feel. You do not

have to perform joy for anyone.”

Our Chair of the Board, Natalie Bolton

Our Chair, Natalie, lost her husband Jonathan unexpectantly on Mother’s Day 2021 from a

sudden cardiac arrest, leaving her to raise their twin daughters Amelia and Isobel as teenagers.

Christmas, once full of noise and comfort, became something she could no longer bear.

“Our first Christmas without Jonathan was something we simply couldn’t face. It was painful in a way I didn’t know was possible. We flew to Mauritius because the thought of being at home

without him was overwhelming. The grief came with us, but at least there was space to breathe.

Now, as I prepare to host Christmas at home again, I know there will be both joy and sadness,

and that’s ok. Grief doesn’t take a holiday. You’re allowed to feel it all.”

Board member Heather Smith

Heather was widowed at 33 when her husband Stuart died after a year-long cancer diagnosis.

Their children were just six and two, and Stuart, who loved Christmas with childlike enthusiasm,

left behind a silence Heather hadn’t expected to survive.

“That first Christmas was pure survival. I tried so hard for the kids and the grandparents, but

inside I was completely broken. Friends meant well, but they were wrapped up in their own

family celebrations. I wish I had reached out sooner. Finding my widow ‘tribe’ changed

everything. Nearly five years on, I’ve created new traditions while honouring the old ones. There

is still joy to be found, even if it looks different now.”

Board member Rosie Moss

Rosie, whose husband Ben died in a scuba accident in 2018 and whose body was never

recovered, found herself navigating deep trauma, young children and the overwhelming task of

rebuilding her life.

“I couldn’t face the tree, the traditions or the expectations. I booked a holiday to Cape Verde on a

credit card and escaped. It didn’t look like Christmas, but it was the only way we could survive it.

Over the years we’ve rebuilt gently. We keep the parts that comfort us and let go of the parts that hurt. We light a candle for Ben and talk about him openly. Nothing is perfect, but it’s ours.”

Share your voice

The Widowed Collective is inviting widowed people across the country to share their

experiences, tips, traditions or messages of hope using #WidowedAtChristmas. Your

reflections may help someone through one of the hardest days of their year.

To take part, share a post on social media using the hashtag or join the conversation on our

Facebook and Instagram pages.

The Widowed Collective is here for you, this Christmas, and every day of the year.