Grief follows me around
I lost my lovely husband in June last year just before his 68th birthday. I lost him to Pancreatic Cancer that is one of the cruelest horrendous cancers I have ever come across. I miss him so much and we moved to a complete new area just before he was diagnosed. This was our retirement to do all the things we wanted to and visit all the countries we wanted too. Yes I can still do some of that but he was the one I wanted to do these things with. Some days I make it through till 5:30pm without breaking down but grief has a way of swirling round until it finds me and hits me like a sledgehammer. I know time will help me accept he is never coming home but this feeling I have now is just so painful. 😞💔

So sorry to hear that. It is an awful feeling. My partner, Mark, died suddenly and unexpectedly of a heart attack in November last year. At least it wasn't a long, painful illness, but I feel like you in that I had just cut back on work and we planned this year as our year of exciting travel. I miss him awfully and hate living where I do now, as I feel so alone there. Like you, I can do things on my own, but I don't want to. I want to do them with him. So sorry you are finding it so painful. At times, I blot it out - the trauma of his death - but I can't blot out the missing him and the quiet. xx