Community & Connection

Hello Mark

As I previously said Welcome to the group. We may not have anything wonderful to say but we are good at listening as we are all in the same “boat”. I, too am grateful for finding this group as no one understand the pain of losing your soulmate until it happens to them.

My husband passed on 13 January 2026, a Tuesday and I remember the surgeon telling me on the Monday that he wasn’t going to make it. So every Monday/Tuesday I relive what happened. It is very early days for me, I can’t believe he has gone as he looked after me so well for 42 years. The pain is there non stop and every second of every day I miss my husband so much. Our house is so empty, I talk to him all the time, hoping that he might answer me somehow.

I occasionally join the zoom conversations which even though I might not join in so much I listen and perhaps might learn something as this loss is such a new experience. An experience I don’t wish on anyone. Perhaps the zoom might be something you would be interested in and it might help your pain.

It's going to be 5 years for me this July. I was 52 when my husband died, he was 58. Lost after a 2 month battle with cancer. We had just celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary. Our kids were 22 and 18. My 18yr old now 24, still lives with me. I too have a dog! Feeling the struggle as this month was the beginning of 'the end', definitely not my favourite month of the year anymore, as it once was - his birthday, our wedding anniversary, now is the first time he went to the hospital to get checked out. Thinking of you and our similar stories. xo

I stayed silent for years.

Silent while friendships collapsed.Silent while families were divided.Silent while lies, manipulation, and emotional destruction spread across people’s lives like poison.

But after reading public posts searching for sympathy while so many people who truly loved Kevin were silenced, excluded, pushed away, or emotionally destroyed, I can no longer stay quiet.

The world is being shown one version of the story.

But many of us lived another.

I knew Kevin long before Germany.Long before Kosovo.Long before emotional control, paranoia, isolation, and endless drama entered his life.

I knew the Kevin who laughed until sunrise.The Kevin who travelled Europe on motorbikes.The Kevin who worked hard, loved deeply, and would sacrifice everything for the people he cared about.

And sadly, that was also his weakness.

Because once Kevin loved somebody, he gave everything:his money,his energy,his loyalty,his peace,his mental health,and eventually his isolation from people who had known and loved him most of his life.

Over the years, many of us watched him slowly change emotionally.

The confident, free-spirited man we once knew became stressed, suspicious, emotionally exhausted, and constantly consumed by confusion and drama.

People around him saw it.Family members saw it.Friends saw it.

But anytime concerns were raised, division followed.

Families were turned against one another.Different stories were told to different people.People were manipulated emotionally.Some were financially dependent.Others became frightened to speak openly at all.

And meanwhile Kevin continued giving, sacrificing, helping, paying, supporting, protecting, and defending the very people many believed were slowly destroying him emotionally.

Even after his death, division and control continued.

People who loved him felt excluded.Children felt pushed aside.Long-term friends felt erased from the narrative completely.

And perhaps the saddest part of all is this:

Kevin deserved peace.

Real peace.

Not conflict.Not manipulation.Not emotional warfare between families and social media.

He deserved honesty.He deserved loyalty.He deserved protection from the chaos that eventually consumed his life.

This is not written out of hatred.

Hatred destroys everybody eventually.

This is written because too many people stayed silent for too long while watching somebody they loved slowly disappear emotionally in front of them.

The truth matters.

And one day, whether people like it or not, the full truth about everything surrounding Kevin’s life, relationships, isolation, suffering, and final years will eventually be spoken openly.

Not through fake accounts.Not through manipulation.Not through social media sympathy.

But through truth.

And the people who genuinely knew and loved Kevin will never forget who he really was before all of this Darkness entered his life.

Kevins best mate and brother for over 35 years. Rest in peace Kev for you are truly missed mate.

Martin Thomas