Community & Connection

Dear all,

Apologies but I need to vent, because after 6 years I've come to the end of the line...

I'm 53 years old and based near Bournemouth. I lost my wife Laura to Cancer in 2020 when she was just 45. One week after the funeral the UK went into the first lockdown, a few months later I lost my job due to the pandemic. And then a short time after that I had to move out of our marital home.

As time has progressed over the years my friends and family have stopped calling. I've made over 2300 job applications in six years but am still out of work. My CV has been professionally overhauled 4 times and even made AI compliant... but still no employment!

The days are long, the night's longer. And I'm lonely. SO SO lonely. I've tried dating apps and did see someone for a couple of years but she ended the relationship just before Christmas. Then, in January and February of 2026 I had to fork out £12,000 as my laptop died, the house roof leaked, water went into the electrics, my car set on fire and then the same with the washing machine too.

I live on just my savings af £700 a month. There's too much money in the bank to claim for assistance - yet not enough for long term survival. And that's just what I've been doing. Surviving. Because of how everything is just so expensive these days I don't go out anywhere and I don't do anything. I eat crap frozen food because I don't have anyone to cook for, and after all this time I feel as though I've now hit rock bottom!!!

In previous times Laura and I ran a business. She was the brains and I was the labour. We had good money coming in, did lots of foreign travel and had an incredible social network. We went out, we laughed, we played tricks on each other and were inseperable. My interests and activities dont fall into the "normal" range of categories that others like, as I'm not into sports, nor am I a big drinker down the pub. I've tried searching over and over again for groups, clubs and activities I could join within a 40 mile radius. But unless you like flower aranging, basket weaving or becoming a member of the shed appreciation society; then there's nothing which is taking my fancy. Everything that is available is for people either much younger - or much older and I've fallen through the cracks.

I'm in a rut and I need help... I know that I have to go out and get things as nothing will fall into my lap, but I'm stuck. I miss the feeling of intimacy. Skin on skin. Good sex and having that real connection. I'm on the Chapter 2 dating site - and Widows Fire... but nothing.

I try to keep telling myself that at some point it has to get better. But after 6 years I'm losing all faith in that. I'm not a religous person and not entirely sure whether I believe there is a supreme being above us all. So please - I don't want anyone saying I need to pray to make things better. People all over the world have been doing that and yet take a look at the sh1t state the planet is in right now.

If you've got this far then well done. I'm sorry to sound like the purveyor of doom and gloom, but that's where I'm now at. No income (literally zero for the past two years), no-one to talk to. And no-one to love / be loved by. For six very long years it's continually being going down and down and down. The harder I try to turn things around the more I fail. On the outside I smile if I see someone in the street. But on the inside the lacerations are slashed through and through. And then through some more. I'm broken.

I need help. But I've lost all idea of where I can go and what I can do. 6 years of continuing bad luck and failure is enough to send anyone over the edge. I'm not looking for pity. I'm not looking for sympathy. I'm looking for help. I'm looking for love. And I'm looking for a way out of this god awful f*cking situation!!!

What can I do? And can anyone help me?

Thank you.

D.